There is something wonderful about having close friends. Something that lets you know that you are accepted by other human beings in this crazy world. Something that confirms that within you is a light others like – not just family because they have no other choice.
I have been fortunate to have many close friends …. or I thought they were at least. They were the ones saying I will be there when you need me …. we will be close forever – and I believed them.
But unfortunately due to circumstances, these close friends did not last. And God knows, I tried. I wrote regularly, I sent text messages, I called. But these eventually went without a response and somewhere in my heart, a small scar would appear where once these friends belonged.
A friendship to me meant acceptance and the light that these friends once saw obviously did not mean as much anymore. With every close friendship I lost, I felt its emptiness.
Now nine times out of ten, the reasons why these friendships didn’t last were due to location. I moved so many times as a young person that the locations we lived in no longer allowed for the face-to-face friendship. But this is just me rationalising it. Close friendships will last regardless of location. In fact, my best friend of 10 years lives in Melbourne. We might email once a month and that would be it most of the time – but every now and then we get an opportunity to catch up and it is like we never separated. I thank her for proving that close friendships can survive long distances.
I now am more careful with my friendships. I no longer see them as close until they can prove to me that they will not only be there when I need them, but when I don’t need them.
To every single one of my ex-close friends, just because I didn’t say I needed you, didn’t mean I didn’t want you. And when I did say I need you I don’t think you knew, I wanted and needed you more than you realise.