Seek and you will find….

I am not much of a religious person, but I have read much of the bible. In Matthew 7:7 and Luke 11:9 there is a statement whereby God states “Ask, and you will receive. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you.”

Matthew 7:8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Well I have asked, I have sought and I have knocked until the door almost came off its hinges, but just these three actions only do not assure a positive outcome.

In fact, it is my honest belief, that you not only have to ask, seek and knock, but you need luck, influence, hope, confidence, arrogance, power, money, a hell of a lot of prayer and faith.

Usually though, if things don’t go the way you had planned or hoped, it is luck that is the blame. I used to consider myself a lucky person. Lady luck and I were pretty good friends and she shone brightly on me for quite some time. I am not too sure if I upset her, or my luck ran out, but run out it did.

I have been having to fight and fight hard for whatever it is I want from life now. If you take my husband out of the picture (who by the way has a tight bond with Lady luck) I would quite easily be in the group of “have-nots”. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful, oh so grateful for what I have, but I would be a fool to think what I have is because of luck. Oh no. Life slapped reality into my face. Luck? No chance. Asking, seeking and knocking, fighting, sheer determination and money has got me where I am today.

Many women today face a challenge of balancing career with family or choosing between career and family. I am looking at having no career and no family. Reality. The way I have been treated in my organisation, with lower than average salary, a job title that is less than one of the employees that reports into me, the fact that the PA gets a mobile phone (Iphone 4) and me, a Manager doesn’t, and the fact that this company is dodgy will see me eventually resign. No luck shining on me there, though I am grateful that I was able to get a job.

Now, I am starting my fifth and last treatment of IVF (well five and a half after starting and then stopping a treatment mid way). The odds are against us. In fact, there is a 75% chance that it will not work. Oh my God have I asked, sought, knocked, prayed, hoped and paid a lot of money over the years. Lucky? Nope. But I haven’t given up. I still pray, hope, ask, seek, knock and pay. If Lady luck could join me in this venture however, I think we would have a much better chance.