I want you…

Thinking about you can sometimes make me feel nauseous. I can not help but think what if you do not decide to come into our lives. The past tells me that there is a high chance that this will happen. That even after being fully prepared and going through all the rigmarole, you will not make my womb your temporary home for nine months before making your grand appearance.

God, give me strength. I know that this will be the last attempt for you to make us your parents. Although I am more prepared and willing than I have ever been and your presence is strong, the very thought that you will never be makes me sick to the bone.

I am not one that gives up easily. I have always believed that anything is possible if you work hard enough for it. But baby…. this truly is it. It is now or never. I am down on my knees, stripped bare naked, praying that you will become my son or daughter.

Little one…. if you have any part of me in you, you will be a determined little bean. Please, please, please use this determination to live, to be strong and to bring such happiness to your mother and father. You are wanted. Oh little one, you are so wanted. You will be showered with love and probably be spoilt, which is more than other little ones have.

I offer you my heart, my love, my everything. Please just let me give this to you. Give me that chance. For I do not want to have a life without you.