Sparkling toothies

I have sparkling toothies; a clean set of choppers. Thanks to a visit to the dentist, my teeth have had their clean and polish.

I haven’t given birth, but I have got to think that going to the dentist is up next to it.

From the moment I sit on the dentist chair, my whole body tenses and sweat oozes out of every pore. There is nothing less dignifying than that white bib the dentist assistant puts on you before swinging the dentist light and tray over your body so that the dentist has at his hands access to every mind-blowing tooth tool available. There are tools in that tray that I swear I do not want to know what they do.

Then you sit there with your mouth wide-open, drooling spittle all over yourself, as the dentist AND the assistant stick there tools into your mouth.

I am not sure if my hated of going to the dentist is the realisation that I have lost my ability to talk while they go about their business in my opened, drooling, mouth or the actual pain inflicted as the dentist prods and pokes in every gap between my teeth while his lovely assistant sucks up excess saliva.

Today was extra embarrassing. Not only had there been a build up of plaque due to my lazy dental hygiene (a chewing gum does the same thing doesn’t it?) but I actually gagged when the assistant stuck her little sucker too far down my throat. Up came saliva, water and blood from my abused gums. I was a gagging and spluttering mess.

They took it in their stride the dentist and his assistant. I am sure I turned a shade of deep red, but I guess they have experienced and seen worse.

Out of the tools the dentist has to choose from, I think my worst one is the tooth scraper-hook. That is its technical name you know 🙂 It is the tool that the dentist uses to remove the plaque from between the teeth. In my experience, each dentist I have had the misfortune to visit likes to scrap this tool from halfway down my gum upwards.I am sure they do it deliberately; like it is some sort of twisted revenge for me not flossing two times a day. What good is the light and magnifying glass? I mean they obviously are not properly trained if they don’t know where the tooth begins in my gum!!

This tool also has a habit of getting stuck between my teeth as the dentist fights against the plaque build up and how willing my teeth are to give way to a tooth scraper-hook.

Almost one painful hour of scraping and polishing later, my teeth are sparkling clean. Really. The dentist even showed me before and after pictures which I think he hoped would help to convince me to agree to carrying floss in my handbag and using it at every opportunity.

I am happy with the end result, but was it worth the pain? Debatable…. Was it worth the money? Now that’s another story and may also be related to my fear of visiting dentists.

Oh well, I have had my annual clean. All good for at least another 12 months (fingers crossing).