Day 2: The day of drugs…
Today is day two of my IVF treatment. It is the day of drugs. The day when you hand over thousands of dollars so that you can look like you are starting up your own pharmacy. No matter how many times I go through this process, I never have been able to get my head around the amount of drugs that will be absorbed into my bloodstream, my body and my organs. No matter how many times I go through this, I can not help but get emotional. No matter how many times, I still get a pang of jealousy for all those couples who can just have sex, the natural and beautiful way in order to have a child.
I took a photo of all the drugs today! I wish I could just take them all in one hit and the next day have the procedure. But alas, blood tests, ultrasounds etc. It is all a very medical process. How I had fantasised about booking out a room, placing rose petals on the bed, some sweet romantic tunes on the radio and making wonderful love with my husband by candlelight in order to conceive. The sad fact is that our process involves white sterile rooms, nurses who are not really that understanding, medical equipment, appointments and monitoring.
Don’t get me wrong. I am so grateful that I can have the chance of conceiving. I am grateful for all those scientists who manufactured the drugs in order for women to still have a chance at motherhood, despite it all.
Sometimes though, it is hard to stay positive. Today is one of those days for me. I put it down to the fact that I only got about four hours of sleep last night. I was so excited about becoming an Aunt and then thinking what name they would call my niece. I am just about to go and visit her, so I am sure that will help get my spirits up.
The poor hubster has had an emotional woman to try to soothe while he is miles away. I am trying not to let him know just how emotional I am. But let’s just say, I could cry at the drop of a hat at the moment.
Remember jusmeh: In order for their to be a rainbow, it needs to rain!!
Hugs and kisses. xxx