Love Letters…

The hubster and I have been apart now for 12 days and we are both feeling one another’s absence. Unfortunately his work has really ramped up and he is going through quite a lot of issues at the moment. I have never seen him let work affect him the way it has lately and I have been very worried about him. While I have been thinking about how my hubster is handling everything, he has been thinking about me. I woke up nice and early this morning and feeling like a hundred dollars. But there is the middle of my emails was a very heartfelt letter from my husband. I won’t send you the whole thing, but will past one paragraph in particular:

I want you to know that I love you and fully support what WE are going through.  I cherish you and our relationship.  You are the most important thing in my life – and I would be with you if it were possible.  I want you to know these things because I do not want you to have any doubt about how I feel – about you or this IVF process.  I have thought a lot about our life and the changes that having a child will bring.  I will be very honest with you that I am a little bit scared, but I am also VERY excited about the prospect of being a parent with you.  It will be whatever it will be, but I want you to know that I am 100% in.

My heart is exploding. I love this man so very much. I didn’t know how to express these feelings but did the best I could:

Your email has brought tears to my eyes. Remember, it was ME that suggested I undertake this in Australia. I am very happy that we made this decision – as tough as it is. I think we are giving the process the best possible chance. I feel so humbled and grateful that I have been able to have a break from work also while doing this. In addition, I have the support of my mother and of course you. So, I do not feel alone at all.
In hindsight, should we be doing this is Abu Dhabi I would be more demanding of your time and with work being the way it is for you at the moment, we would probably be fighting and  THEN I would be feeling alone (and angry).
I am worried about you. Very worried. I have never seen you this way and I can see how low work is getting you. I hope that it passes and I wish I could do something, but I feel so powerless from here. I want to give you a hug, open up your beer and give you a massage. I want to somehow transport this massive feeling of love and support for you into this laptop and put it into your heart. I want to give all the work colleagues giving you problems a big smack on their bottoms and then tell them to behave themselves! 🙂
Honey, I want you to know that I feel your support of the IVF process, even if you are not here. The fact that you ask questions, are interested in each appointment etc lets me knows that you care. I am absolutely assured of the fact that I am not alone in this process and that WE both have hopes and dreams that this will work. I too am scared, I don’t think we could go through this process again and not be. But as you say, it will be what it will be.
Please stop worrying about me, I need you to focus on you and those little naughty people at your work. Know that I am very proud of you. Know that I love you immensely and know that should I ever have the opportunity to have a son like you, I would be so very proud of the person he is.
I love you bigger than the sky!
Now head up! Get in there, sort out those naughty boys, achieve all I know that you can and let me watch that magnificence at work.
Big hugs and kisses……Me xxx
This is ending up being a competition about who can create most tears. I miss him lots, but love him even more.