Day31: 13dp3dt – I need a miracle
This morning I have cried a river. The HPT is not getting any stronger and results are only the faintest of faint lines. This seems to be an exact replica of my 2010 attempt. I have told the hubster and we both had a cry over Skype. I have also told my parents. This sucks. I want so badly to believe in miracles, I want to hold onto my hopes and dreams, but they have slowly evaporated as I start to look reality in the face. The odds are against me. They have always been against me.
I have cried out a lot of my hope and dreams. This hurts. I hand it all over to God. He is the only one that can bring a miracle. Funnily enough, the song Holding out for a hero by Bonnie Tyler is on my mind today.
There is a land of hopes and dreams
Where my children play
I can see them whenever I want
At anytime of the day
I just need to close my eyes
And I am transported there
Where Caiden and Layla laugh
Without a world of care
This land is such a happy place
With sunshine, smiles and joy
Where I can stroke the hair of my daughter
And see my gorgeous boy
Takes my breath away
And Lord knows what I would give
To live in this dream every day.
But this was not meant to be
The Lord has greater plans for me
Or so it seems to be
For now I must be content
To just imagine my dream
And find a different path to joy
So I’ll wave goodbye to my daughter and son
My little Peter Pans
Knowing I have just begun
To fulfil God’s plans
If I ever needed a miracle, that time is now. God give me strength.