While there is no denying that I have matured slightly than when I was in my teens, I had an epiphany this morning while waiting for my coffee machine to offer its golden liquid – that I am just an older version of my former self…….. I am thirtyteen!
Remember that awkward stage of wondering where your place was in the world? Of trying to make sense of it all? Well guess what…..
Sure, I may act a little more confident, and yep, I have a fantastic house and car, I am now married and I have worked my way up the corporate ladder to become a Manager, but I often dream of a different life, a life where I could scuba dive around the world, or become a successful author. Additionally, I am now in a partnership whereby the decisions he makes can completely turn my life upside down. Take for example the fact that he is now looking for his next career opportunity – all that remains stable would be the fact that I remain married – the house, car and job would all go.
Sense? What sense?
The idea that we can make sense of the word is an illogical dream… it is non-sense. Whether you call it fate, divine intervention or destiny, no matter what things happen in life that you can not make sense of. Why did the person who treated you like crap get the promotion, or win the million dollar lottery? Why do parents abuse their children. Why, why, why? Life is full of non-sensical occurrences and in order to live a happy life, you must let go, smile and nod and get on with living. Did I know this as a teen? No!! But as a thirtyteen…. well…. it all makes sense 🙂
I remember trying to find my own style as a teenager. I was into black…. not the Goth-black image, but properly the punk image (though without the Doc Martens!). I still try different looks, particularly with my hair. I have shaved my head, coloured my hair burgundy, black, brown, bleach blonde, had a fringe, grew out the fringe, tried the reverse bob and then grew a bob, had it short and now have it naturally coloured long!
Yep, even as a thirtyteen, I butt heads with my parents. There is no escaping it – we will have differences of opinions. This is where smiling and nodding comes in to the picture again, and then when you leave the house, you do what you want to do anyway. The difference is you are now fully responsible for your actions, where as a teenager, your parents are responsible!
Even as a thirtyteen there are curfews. These are usually put in place due to others’ expectations. For example, a girls night out that results in arriving home after 3am is bound to raise some eyebrows from the hubster. Additionally, the dog needs to be feed, brought in and walked. Oh, and now there is deciding whether to be home early enough to function properly the next day or take the risk that your responsibilities will get done even if you are only half doing the job.
Yes, there are still friends my parents do not approve of. There are still fights about petty things with girlfriends. There are breakups and makeups. There are rumours of cheating and people who promise to keep a secret but don’t. You still get accused of spending too much time with friends than with your family and there are times when your decisions regarding who to spend particular occasions such as christmas and easter still upset your parents.
Remember when your grades were the be all and end all? Well, guess what….. I have been given a big mother of an F from two employees….. Fired! That’s right. Apparently my grades/performance did not meet the approval of my teacher/boss. Eventually you come to realise though that this is only a matter of their opinion….. others will see what you have to offer as being exceptional.
Cars and Driving Privileges
The all-mighty freedom of having your own set of wheels! This dream has at times been so far away from me as the hubster and I balanced our finances and resorted to having the one car between us. Due to him needing a vehicle for his job, he was given the set of car keys, while I took public transport. Then there were the almighty arguments when I needed the car at the same time he did. Eventually, after continuous complaining (remember doing this to the ‘rents?) he gave in and now I am driving a nice little grey 2010 Porsche Boxter! (Noice!)
Let’s talk about it. Ah… that moment when you decide to lay with your lover and give in to your urges. For some teenagers (particularly men) that is all they can think about…. Trust me…. nothing has changed!
Smoking, drugs, alcohol, speeding ….. we all still do some or all of these things in our thirty’s. Some do it more, some less…
So, without further convincing of my readers… I now have a new answer to the question how old are you…… THIRTYTEEN and I think it will continue to FORTYTEEN, FIFTYTEEN, SIXTYTEEN, SEVENTYTEEN, EIGTYTEEN, NINETYTEEN …. but I wonder if I will ever be ONE HUNDRED TEEN??? 🙂