1 Step-daughter, 1 husband & 1 wife = Massive Argument

As predicted, the arrival of my step-daughter resulted in a massive bitch session about her mother. I can’t help but roll my eyes about this, five years ago it was her father, three years ago it was me and this year it is her mother. I wish nothing more than being able to put an older head on her shoulders.

I promised myself I was not going to get involved. Last time, I opened my damn mouth and felt really horrible afterwards for bagging on someone I really do not know – the ex wife.

So, as I said I would, I slowly walked away and focussed on happier and calmer things (if you can call making the bed happier and calmer!!). When the hubster was able to, he came upstairs where I asked him if Alex had finished her bitch session now. He said yes, she had to get it all out. In my typical manner, I mocked one of the things I had heard Alex say “that her mother couldn’t even list five nice things about her, but could easily list five bad.” In my head, I was thinking, if Alex didn’t keep acting up, then I am sure her mother could list more nice things, but of course I kept my mouth shut. I also wanted to say that her mother will ALWAYS be her mother and one thing I do know, really do know, is that her mother loves her utterly.

My mocking my step-daughter didn’t go down well with the hubster who told me to ‘just stop it – will you.’ Normally he would have laughed – but he went into defense mode – not even agreeing that it was a ridiculous thing for my step-daugther to say. I decided right then and there that I was going to be at work early this morning – and probably working late. I do not understand why under any other situation, the hubster would have laughed with me, but whenever it comes to his daughter, I just can not say or do anything right. It makes me want to scream. I hold my tongue all the time with my step-daughter and when I feel as though it is safe to share how I am feeling with my husband, he feels as though he must defend her.

It has been 10 years since the hubster and his ex-wife separated and it is difficult to count on one hand the times where my step-daughter visiting didn’t result in an argument between hubster and I. To be quite frank, I have had enough. I told the hubster today that whenever the step-daughter visits, I don’t want to be around. He isn’t happy with this solution, but is offering no other.

My relationship with my step-daughter is slowly healing, but it is made more difficult by the fact that the hubster and I fight so much whenever she visits. It is draining!