It has been three months since my last failed IVF treatment. For the majority of those three months, I have been focusing on my scuba diving and anything else really. But yesterday, my TTC journey demanded my attention. I hadn’t thought of my son or daughter-to-be for what seemed an eternity, but there they were again, in my mind, playing with their toys, laughing. I am not too sure what brings this image to my mind (along with all of those desires and emotions). Maybe it is because of my timing in the month, my maternal pull. But for about 10 minutes, I held on tight to the images playing in my mind and then for the next 10 hours felt all of those horrible feelings of pain, anger, anguish and heart-break.
Maybe, just maybe, my subconscious is aware that in six days I will need to start my DHEA and Growth Hormone treatment. I hadn’t realised how close it was until yesterday’s image. Here we go again. Starting the roller-coaster ride. I’m ready. I am strapping on my seat-belt. This really is for the last time and finally, I am okay with that. We need direction. We need to get on with our lives.
So, let’s see where this journey takes us.