As a child, one of the things we can not wait to do is to “grow up.” I was always told that growing up meant more responsibilities, but I guess I was blind to the long list of responsibilities that I would be, well…. responsible for. Try as I may, there is no escaping domestic chores. Sure, I am fortunate enough to have a maid (it is the ‘thing’ in the UAE), but regardless, there are still chores to do. Walk the dog, empty the bins, cooking, washing up, etc.
Now, one of the things that I find very interesting as a couple, is how chores are divided up. In most cases, women will claim to have the greater share of domestic chores, but I am not too sure if that is really the case. Typically, men are responsible for the ‘outdoor’ chores such as mowing the lawns, cleaning the pool and maintaining the cars.
Again, I am in a different situation. From the very beginning of our relationship, the hubster wanted to
earn his keep undertake his fair share of the domestic chores. As we were living in a rental then, there were very little gardens, no pool and well, one car between us which was on a novated lease and therefore maintained by specialists. At this time, I was very, VERY, domesticated. My past two serious relationships before the hubster were with Italian men who were both lazy used to being very mothered. In fact, I was fanatical. I would spend my whole weekend during chores. The hubster freed me from this, offering to do the dishes after I cooked. He also would get frustrated about how fanatical I was (and the time I would spend) on other chores. Eventually, he was doing the washing, ironing and cleaning up.
To be honest, I have it pretty easy at the moment – and I know it. The interesting thing though, is that when either party goes away for some time, we both tend to have in our minds that we are under-valued in what we do. For example, I make the bed most mornings, am responsible for walking the dog every second day, do the grocery shopping and cook most nights. When I went to Australia for seven weeks, I had in my mind a man who would learn to value what I bring to the relationship. What happened in fact, was that he adjusted and quite easily mind you.
The reverse situation is now occuring. The hubster is in Australia. There was a small comment that the hubster made about me missing what he does. Now, it is only day two, but already, I am finding myself adjusting – and happily mind you. The dog is being walked daily, the dishes are being done and I even fixed the dishwasher!
The fact is, we often get lazy when there is someone else who can help with domestic chores. It is not the we are incapable of doing them. I am now used to leaving dishes in the sink for the hubster to clean. It has become our thing. Additionally, why I love the hubster is not because he helps around the house. I am blessed and honoured that my husband wishing to unburden the load, but it is not the reason I miss him when he is away. I miss HIM. His companionship, not that he helps with domestic chores.